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The Vanished

The Vanished

– Nonfiction by Ann Klotz –

Homemade Insanity

After she died, I discovered my grandmother’s long dark braid in her dressing table. She bobbed her hair in the 20’s and kept it. Nestled with the braid, a tiny pin showed two little children in a sepia photograph. Both had identical haircuts with bangs cut straight across, their features infinitesimal.

“Who’s this?” I asked my mom.

“Your grandmother and her twin, Frank.”

“Grammie had a brother?”

“We never knew him.”

At fourteen, I tucked the pin into my pocket, kept it, noted its presence in my dressing table drawer.

Families are full of ghosts and questions.

There are no other images of Frank. No photographs of him at any age—brave or serious or celebratory. He was dishonorably discharged from WWI—his records sealed, destroyed. Was he gay? Dishonest? Cowardly?

An older cousin shared that Grammie would rendezvous with Frank on Manhattan street corners. Without telling Grandfather, she’d take the train from New Jersey to give her brother money. I fill in what I can’t know: her dark marcelled bob beneath a fashionable cloche, a navy coat, t-strap pumps, her eyes scanning the block, waiting. Perhaps she smiled at his approach, his face—a mirror of her own–all lonesome angles and regret. Did they drink coffee and whisper, heads close, or did he slink away, furtive, into anonymity?

Now, when I pin the twin toddlers to my collar, I murmur to the sailor-suited little boy, “I see you, Frank.” His mystery tugs me, still.


Ann Klotz

About the Author – Ann Klotz

Ann V. Klotz, a writer, empty-nester, and frequent feeder of her two cats and three dogs.  Her work weaves together reflections on forty-two years of teaching and lessons learned in motherhood. She makes the strongest cup of coffee in the Midwest. With friends, she founded and edits the online journal, Well-Schooled: the Site for Educator Story Telling  When she’s not writing or teaching 9th graders, she can be found needlepointing and running Laurel School in Shaker Heights, OH. Her work has appeared in the Brevity Blog, Yankee Magazine, Dorothy Parker’s Ashes, The Manifest Station, Literary Mama, and in a NYT Tiny Love Story. You can read more of her writing at  www.annvklotz.com


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