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To Addle

To Addle

– Poetry by Nicole Ardiel –

He doesn’t know the meaning,
the phrase not used in his language.
But they have permission, the council tells him,
to addle the eggs.

He looks it up:
Loss of development.
A process by which an egg ceases to be viable.
Permission from the city, they say,
to addle the seagull eggs on the roof.
Permission, on account of the new roof project.

So, today, his job as building caretaker
is to take care of the eggs.
To tiptoe across the condo top, quiet
to not disturb
the retirees tucked
in their bright penthouses.

Can’t have the eggs hatching, they quip.
No gull chicks tumbling across the tarmac,
realizing their soft staccato pip
without opening their beaks,
only a slight lift of their mottled wings
to show each exhalation.

Can’t be re-homing them
when the project begins, they point out.
Or worse, they whisper.
They demonstrate the technique,
like a martini in a chrome shaker.

In the corner with the best view of the ocean,
he finds a nest, shoos the mother, lifts one egg.
Tries for gentle, like sprinkling salt on soup.
Like shivering the rice bag
for the last few grains.

He wears white nylon gloves,
to not leave his scent,
his fingerprints
on the shells.
The mother won’t know for weeks
that the eggs have ceased.

Won’t know until well past
the season, already too late.

He worries he is too delicate,
doesn’t want to disappoint them.
Or worse, come back a second time.
So, he snaps his wrist
as if shaking the mercury
back down the thermometer.

He won’t talk about this at home,
won’t tell his wife.
She, too tired
after a day
of placating ruffled customers.
She, who decided years ago
about no children,
no desire to be a parent.

He went along with it,
goes along with all of it.
Already in love.
Already too late.

He quivers the egg like a baby rattle,
wonders if this is what it feels like.

Nicole Ardiel

About the Author – Nicole Ardiel

Nicole Ardiel is a writer of poetry and fiction who often stays up too late reading novels. After graduating from Creative Writing at UVic, she took a 25-year break from penning anything other than diary entries. Upon returning to her craft with gusto in 2019, she was long listed for the 2022 CBC Poetry Prize. Nicole lives, works, plays and creates on the traditional territories of the W̱SÁNEĆ Peoples.

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